Originally posted on Carrie’s Thoughts Blogger site 9/23/2014.

Christopher Dwayne Shearill,

You were my one and only little brother. I wanted so much for you. I didn’t even care if it was what you wanted for yourself. You were goofy. You enjoyed the simplest things. You were awkward. You had the best sense of humor. You gave the most earnest hugs. You were loving.

I remember many things.

There are many more things that I wish I had not forgotten.

I wish I could remember when we napped together.

I wish I could remember all the walks we took, especially when I had to hold your hand.

I wish I remembered watching Sponge Bob with you.

I wish I remembered reading with you.

I wish I remember playing in the park.

I wish I remembered all the times when I laid next to you in the hospital, just to watch a TV show with you.

I wish that I could remember everything about our visit to Florida and Give Kids the World. I wish that I could remember the times that you tried to explain something funny, and I totally didn’t get it.

I wish I could remember all the times you said, “I love you”.

I know I cannot expect to remember every single moment of the times we have shared. Chris, you were too cool for me to have forgotten these things. I don’t have you here to make more memories.

I miss you.

I love you.

Your “Big Sis”,